Using someone’s correct pronouns might seem like a small detail, but for many people, it’s one of the most meaningful ways we can show care, understanding, and respect. Pronouns aren’t just grammar—they’re about identity. They tell someone, “I see you for who you really are.” And that simple acknowledgment can make a world of difference.
When we use the wrong pronouns for someone, even accidentally, it can feel dismissive or invalidating. It sends the message that we see them based on old assumptions, stereotypes, or what we think we know, rather than who they truly are. But when we get it right, we help create a moment of connection and affirmation. We show that we’re willing to listen, learn, and honor the person in front of us.
One of the most important parts of respecting pronouns is resisting the urge to assume them. You can’t know someone’s gender identity by looking at them, and guessing often leads to hurt. Simply asking, or offering your own pronouns first during introductions, can make it easier for everyone. Adding pronouns to your email signature, name tag, or online profiles can help normalize the practice so it doesn’t fall only on gender-diverse people to advocate for themselves.
There’s also a real emotional impact behind all of this. Respecting pronouns isn’t just polite—it can literally support someone’s mental well-being. Research from The Trevor Project found that transgender and non-binary youth whose pronouns were respected by most or all of the people in their lives attempted suicide at half the rate of those whose pronouns were not respected.
Another study highlighted by the American Medical Association found that when transgender youth were able to use their chosen name and correct pronouns in multiple contexts—such as home, school, work, and with friends—they experienced 71% fewer symptoms of severe depression and a 65% decrease in suicide attempts.
And really, we already understand the importance of respecting the ways people define themselves. When an actor like Nicolas Cage changed his name from Nicolas Coppola to reflect who he wants to be in the world, we honored it without question. We updated our language. We called him what he wanted to be called. Pronouns are the same—simple, human, and deserving of that same courtesy.
Language shapes how we treat each other. It can be used to divide or to welcome. Choosing to use someone’s correct pronouns is choosing welcome. It’s choosing kindness. It’s choosing to create a space where people can breathe a little easier and exist a little more fully as themselves.
It takes so little effort from us, but it can mean everything to someone else.